Awareness and graciousness

This week something happened that made me incredibly angry and frustrated. I don't often get that angry but it was because of the way I think someone has been treated. The other reason I am frustrated is because of another person (involved in the situation) only seems concerned with self and not thinking wider than self, plus seems to be totally oblivious to institutional agendas. The person who I think has been treated badly was being extremely gracious while I was getting angrier and more frustrated. What does that say about me I wonder!

I also got frustrated because a friend who is a vicar had 'his' church broken into and then to add insult to injury was told that the church was not 'spiritual' enough by someone who doesn't really know the church and therefore does not know about the prayers and self sacrifice that is there!

We are all on a journey through life that will hopefully mean we are constantly learning and being transformed to be more Christ like. I think I need a lot more transformation!

good saying...

instead of the 'normal' comforting the afflicted, how about we 'afflict the comfortable"! Something our retreat 'director' Ken Leech said this weekend...I liked this a lot!

I was also struck with two words that Ken said at the end of the last session! Stay and struggle, the words came from the verses that followed the readings for today. I have been 'struggling' with what I am supposed to be doing once ordained - which is a year away yet.... and thought I was supposed to stay where I am, working in the Uni certainly for the moment, and was wanting to know before a meeting this week... I felt very strongly that those two words were for me.... Struggling with where I am, struggling with my understanding of where and what I am called to do, but to stay and rest in what God will be helping me to do.

I was also struck with something someone else said about not liking rules..... I think I have slowly learnt to accept that it is important for others that rules are there and especially for being part of community - even though it is hard!!

tarn hows

this is one of my most favourite places in the Lakes, as you can walk round the lake quite easily (even with bad backs!!) within an hour - an hour and half depending how slow you go! This is a photo I took a week ago on my last day of 'annual leave'. I just love it and wanted to share it with you!!

integration - instead of balance

on a retreat at the moment with my year cohort of ordinands and something the retreat 'leader'/'director'/'speaker' said resonated with me and am now thinking about. He said he was looking for the balance between activism and contemplation and the person he was speaking to had said that it was not about balance but integration.(my words)

I worry too much about balance I think as I am always looking for the balance in my life, and never seem to manage a well balanced life! Perhaps I try to compartmentalise everything in my life and therefore never do get the balance. A bit of a paradox really especially as I talk about my life being integrated, and that our course is an integrated one in the way we teach, and the way I reflect theologically is integrated!! mmmm, need to think about this a bit more methinks!!

youth work

having just read a really good 'article 'In defence of youth work' I felt quite strongly I wanted to write about youth work as Richard and I have been teaching it for the past few years.

Although our course is a Christian Youth Work course, our ethos is one that means core youth work values such as relationships, starting from where young people are, empowerment and participation while not forgetting that any relationship we have with young people is purely voluntary is at the heart of everything we do.

As a Christian youth work course our ethos is that we need to be 'loving God with every part of our being, and to love our neighbours as we love ourselves, and to live life with a recognition that Jesus came to bring life in all its abundance or fullness.

We do encourage our students to think outside their comfort zones as we all need to learn to hear from other perspectives as we don't always know best, much as many of us like to think we know best. Youth Work is about deep listening, to what is going on under the surface, it is about an awareness of self, in order that our needs are not being fulfilled by being needed. It is about being aware of our own agendas but empowering young people to determine their own future, having been given unbiased options. It is about an understanding of the issues young people face and not treating them too lightly, whatever they are - and it is also about respecting their feelings and thoughts. It is not an easy task by any stretch of the imagination - when we see mistakes about to happen, or them going along a path that we think is totally wrong for them - but if we are there for the young person, supporting them when we can and explaining when we can't, they will remember that if the going gets tough.

Young people are not simply half an adult or an adult in training with no valid thoughts or opinions, rather they are worth just as much as any adult regardless of who the adult is, what they do, or where they come from. Young people are fully human regardless of age, gender, height, weight, colour of eyes or hair, sexuality, race, faith or none, religion or none. They all need a person they can trust, a safe space to go when feeling confused, or fed up, or angry.... can they trust me? can they trust you?

participation and stuff

so what do you understand by participation in church? Answers would be useful. but not expected!!

I was at a conference yesterday looking at participation in church, and am still reflecting on what it meant for me but also the wider church. The World Cafe methodology is certainly one I will use in the present and the future, and I had been in a couple of places before where it was used. I suppose I was hoping for some stuff I could use for my doctoral studies, but this did not happen, although it was good to be there and join in the discussions.

I was surprised at the 'feedback' this morning from church as I found it really hard to write something for around 5 minutes, but people were saying I was getting better and better!! I can't say I understand how, but as long as I try keeping on learning to actively listen to God, that is all I can do, as well as studying! I love reading the scripture and then letting it 'be' in my head all week until I come to write...

the other thing I am reflecting on at the moment is my doctoral studies. It is so hard to find the time and energy to do everything - and when I say energy I mean to not be so tired and therefore sleepy!! However it is a good thing to do and now I think I have the structure of my research days sorted out, it should be better - although it is a discipline I haven't tried yet as I haven't had a research day since talking about it!!

So tonight going over to St Marks Haydock to help with Dream! I will miss Dream when I finish, I recognised that almost immediately, and I also know why and it is the fact of meeting weekly (well nearly weekly) with a small group, talking about things that really matter in a safe place. Safe spaces are so important when talking about God and life...

my blog!!

ISTP - The Mechanics
[ISTP]
The independent and problem-solving type. They are especially attuned to the demands of the moment are masters of responding to challenges that arise spontaneously. They generally prefer to think things out for themselves and often avoid inter-personal conflicts.

The Mechanics enjoy working together with other independent and highly skilled people and often like seek fun and action both in their work and personal life. They enjoy adventure and risk such as in driving race cars or working as policemen and firefighters.

so this is where I found it!

I am actually and INTJ with the myers brigg personality test, but thought this was quite funny!!

Christmas

it is the 21st Dec and my eyes are feeling very heavy and sore, I have a lovely cough, sneezing well and no energy!! oh what joy!! No food shopping, not much present shopping done - but does it really matter?

I went to church this morning as I hadn't taken communion for a while (supposed to be taking it on thurs at family group but was poorly) and during the sermon my thoughts drifted off - as they do - and I found myself thinking about the actual birth of Jesus.... where was the birth - in a place that was outside the familial warmth, in a place bereft of cleanliness. Who did Jesus come to speak life to? those outside the 'family', those who didn't fit into the 'norms' of His society. He certainly didn't come to encourage us into eating too much over the 'festive' period and spend ourselves into debt.

Gifts and food although nice, are actually not the reason for celebrating at this time. Freedom from oppression, inclusion and acceptance into a life worth living...

oh and if anyone is wondering - I will do enough shopping both food and presents to let my loved ones know I do love them!!

tagged to write a creed

so I was tagged by Gill to write a modern creed using less than 146

I believe in God who is Love,
his Son Jesus, radical, compassionate and not tied to boundaries
the wild and liberative Spirit who completes the Trinity.

I am going to pass on the tag to John D

journalling part 2

yeah right - so much for journalling and trying to write 200 words a day!! I will have written 200 words per day, but NOT on the journal!!

Yesterday I went to Dream.... and I can see I am going to be in the right place for now... am going to Dream tonight in Liverpool and will be Dream(ing) for the next three months!

We were talking about a rule of life - or a rhythm of life - or a way of life and it was fascinating that what one person sees as freeing another sees as imprisoning (almost). The Language we use is really important in order to empower and not disempower....however I think that sometimes we need to try to enter into a dialogue to encourage people to see outside their boxes...

I try to encourage my students to think outside their experience - to try to take on board other perspectives!! in order that they don't become too arrogant

the question is... why!!

On Monday I tried for 25 - 30 mins to try to ascertain whether or not the quotes for my flood damage had been agreed or not - so that the work could be started! I was told I would hear back from the loss adjusters by the end of the day....

today is wednesday and I decided that I would pop into the bank in my dinner hour to see of they could phone through to the loss adjuster - (I am insured through my bank/mortgage) well 20 mins passed and the person on the phone is still waiting to get through to someone I can speak to!! eventually I get to speak to someone, who then has to put me on hold - (save the last dance for me music!!!!!) while they put me through to someone else, who then also puts me on hold - (yes you have guessed it - same music!!!!!!) while he finds my file.

He then tells me that the person I spoke to on monday cannot have possibly known the information he was giving me as the quotes had only been put on the system yesterday - so I explained that he had known it as he was telling me who the quotes had been from... He then said he couldn't have known, I explained he had known!!! seriously!!

why, why, why!!

still he said the work could happen and that he would send me an email confirming that.... but guess what... yes I am still waiting for said email so do I let my builder know or not!!

Journaling

So here we are – my attempt at trying to write 200 words a day for my journal is starting right here and now...

Journaling has been something I have done spasmodically, there was a year when I journaled almost every day and it was a good thing to do – however there were reasons for my doing that. I was needing to work through things in my head, and journaling was the only way to do that!

Without something going on in my head I don’t see the reason for journaling which is why it is going to be a struggle. However I really want to learn more and understand more about my subject and practical theology...

I also want to know the sorts of questions I need to be learning to ask, as at the moment I know I don’t - that is my big concern...

DTP

So I have just been on my first residential for the Doctorate in Practical Theology. I am tired but it is a good tired I think! I am still unsure how much I know especially after the lecture and questions being asked last night, but my hope is that I will get there sooner rather than later! To do that means being disciplined in using my reading day to the best of my ability!

one of the last things we had to do was to write for 6 minutes about the past two days and if I am on the blog it is not usually a problem to even start, but it took me a couple of minutes to even start with paper and pen! Once I had started it was ok and interestingly I had just written the word exhilarated and had to leave it at that....

So exhilarated is sort of how I felt then, and I hope the 'passion' stays for the next 5-6 years, my problem is I want to get it done NOW!! I know full well it can't be done yet, but that is my concern that the passion keeps strong and that I can do it all.

Literature review, journalling, publishable article, research proposal and then the actual thesis..... oh my word so much!!

one to one!

I am going to start a group called 'No more one on one!! I have huge problems with students who insist on saying one on one - it is one TO one!! Think about it folk- one ON one....or one TO one- face to face is one to one NOT one ON one!!

please stop using Americanisms and hear what you are saying! I know it is a bit of a little thing to get wound up about, but I have got wound up especially when I hear and see youth workers using this terminology. It really is not good practice to be doing one ON one's!!!!!!!!!!!!!

floods

well if you read this please remember myself and two daughters in your prayers if you pray as we have been flooded for the 3rd time since 2005! The other times we have had to move out for three months while the work was done - but we really can't do it again - there is too much disruption to do that with Nikki going back to Uni, and everything I need to be doing in the next few weeks!

We need to think of ways round moving out but still getting the work done!

We then need to somehow dig down 12 inches in the patio area, too costly for me to pay someone, too hard for us to do it ourselves....so a working party is needed or a windfall!! and the latter won't be happening so a working party is needed!! after the rain has stopped!!